When a relationship ends, it's like when you die, then it would seem, suddenly we make a record sequence, and it reviews all the steps, the moments things in our history.
History being declared over, we see things from a new angle. I know it's not very fair play , but I sometimes regret the acts of love and giving, a posteriori. I tell myself there, I would not have insisted, that this or that, I would not have accepted, that there had been better to break me. 
This morning, therefore, the Sunday, November 8, is a historic day: I got plated. It hurts me, I am rather sad, but at the same time pitching the story since before it even exists, I believe. Even before born, he and I Y'avait a veto over us divine, something Greek tragedian, gender them, we will ensure that they be mortal ass marrent well, but it is always more demanding and emotionally free him. (I'm very much fun on this blog, not care about privacy, y 'theoretically has more.)
It's strange to be plated. One of the first texts on this blog talking about that, exactly. For once, when I left this same boy countless times, I must admit there is something sweet in the act of being plated. When I was leaving, I was consumed with love scorned, guilt, remorse. There at least, even if you are both responsible for things that do not, we are not both responsible for the failure. He made the decision for me. This is something we have not done since 1998, perhaps, decide in my place, do not let me choose, decide, choose.
Thus, unlike the times I left him and took me where the anguish of having perhaps made the wrong decision, not having well weighed and seen things, having hastily held, there, at least I'm quiet. It is not I who Uygur. Or not. The question is not whether it is right or wrong, but admit it's a heartache for less comfortable. 
The thing is, I have no idea how long it takes to go, sadness, or how it operates. Before, I wore the pants, I was strong, I left with speech and my backpack full of claims. Warrior. Now I'm like sitting on a small rock in the middle of nowhere, low tide, abandoned as a little girl. And it's nice to still not feel responsible.
Good. I'm single. I do not know what it will allow me now that I allowed myself before, frankly. Certainly there will be changes: return to Tops, absurd situations, the decadence of celibacy. I will not say that I missed.
But since I do not know how long I obviously need to get over a heartbreak, I think this blog will be a good way to share this unique experience.
What steps towards a radical change?
girlfriend I'm friends with this guy, he goes well I have to change environment for a time at least. No question of me cross at all costs. (Although this morning, he seemed delighted to return to the time of the wind ...)
-Challenge # 1: Meeting new people.
Then, logically, when you come out of a story is not to go into something worse. I admired this guy a lot, I found beautiful, sexy, talented, funny, tender, charming ...
-Challenge # 2: Finding better.
Nicer, bigger, funnier, smarter ... And why not richer? It would not hurt me, as I mowed ...
I just realized that I forget something fundamental. -
Challenge number 0:
forget. Obviously, then, immediately, that sounds tight. But this is precisely why I have a blog. Write is a great outlet. So
D-day break for the moment, I am challenged 0. But I intend to chronicle the progress here, changes, upheavals.
We'll laugh.
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